1. Neutering is good. Use it as a mantra. Ummmm.



2. Socialize with your ferret at least twice a day.
More if they are caged.
More if they are ill.
More if they are dying.
Socialize means talking and touching and playing and
scratching and treats,
not just looking.
Understand?


3. Only feed the top quality foods.
The pennies you save will be spent later as dollars
if you don't.
Break out of the "kibble is best" brainwashing if you
can but if you can't.
Get high quality ferret or kitten foods only.



4. Find a good vet and use them.
Don't abuse them, don't double-guess them, don't
underpay them.
Don't roll over for them either;
ask lots of questions and expect detailed answers.
Take detailed notes, especially of treatments and drug
doses and schedules
Carry a medical or veterinary dictionary with you
if you don't have the vocabulary.
If you have been told of an alternative treatment,
present it in a polite and reasonable manner,
or better yet, bring in a photocopy of the article.
The point is, work together to build a medical
Strategy for your ferret, then follow it.
  

5. Repeat after me.
I*WILL* make sure my ferret is inoculated 
against distemper.
Say it again!
Again!
I can't HEEEAAAR you!


6. Don't smoke around your ferret.
I have no problem if you personally decide that the
proven health risks
are worth your drug effects,
but ferrets have no choice in the matter.
You wouldn't like it if they made you breathe anal sac
emissions all day long,
and those aren't even life threatening.
Keep a mental image of the "Methane Emissons in the
Spacesuit" scene in "Rocketman,"
and smoke somewhere else.
 

7. A cage is a boring, confining space.
Let your ferret run around until it wants to sleep, 
then play with it to make it run around some more.
Give it a new toy from time to time.
Throw in new stuff for it to investigate.
Enrich your ferret's environment or you may bore them
to death.
Literally.


8. Understand that your ferret wants to interact with you.
They do.
They love to play, they love to investigate, they love to
explore.
That's their nature.
Let them be ferrets.
Interact with them.


9. Remember the last time your job was stinky-butt bad
and your best friend was pissed
and your computer wasn't working right just when you
needed it
and you didn't have enough money to fix your car
and your significant other yelled at you
and you were sick
and the toilet overflowed
and you locked your house keys in the trunk of your car
along with the trunk key
and everybody was too loud
and your roof was leaking all over your irreplaceable
photos?
All you wanted was a quiet, safe place to relax and take it
easy.
Well, ferrets do too, so give them a safe house to hide in.
A box with a hole, a dark bag, even a slightly open
drawer


Someplace where they can relax and chill and feel safe.
There is nothing better then a warm, dark hole…..
Irresistible.


10. Don't worry about the occasional carpet stain.
Ignore the wall marks and the sofa holes.
Look past the shredded carpet, the chewed stuff, the
yellow puddles.
Focus on the war dancing,
the delighted sniffing,
the chase and the bounds and the rolls and the dumb
pratfalls.
Delight in the moment,
because it is only here a short while
and then you will have a hole in your heart
where a silly weasel used to be.